My life
by cuddles-are-welcome
Summary: Sum inside I DO NOT OWN THE GALLAGHER GIRLS SERIES OR THE CHARACTERS
1. Intro

Summery: Anorectic, a cutter with an eating disorder, yep, that's me. Cameron Morgan. I know, me being the cheer leading captain, Mrs. Perfect, Queen Bee, a cutter? With an eating disorder? Can't be true. She's so _happy_,_ cheerful, perfect, _there's _no way SHE _has any of that. Well I do. And this, this is what happened in my sophomore year...

3rd persons P.O.V

Cammie walked down the street, all the way down to that little meadow right at the towns border.

She sat down on the grass, putting her bag beside her. She was thinking those dark thoughts again. The ones that wouldn't leave her alone. The ones that started with Dillon. _Him, it was His fault. He did this to me. He made me like this._ She thought angerly.

He had told her she wasn't skinny enough. He had told her she could only eat this, and only that at that time. Then, she could eat this, the next day. She couldn't disobey or leave him, no.

That would get her even more hurt. Dillon wasn't just a dick, no, he was abusive. She had learned to do what he had told her to do.

She knew what happens when you don't listen to him.

And she also knew it wasn't something you wanted. She sighed as she took out the little blade from her bag, pulling up her shirt sleeve, getting ready to do something unthinkable.

Something she hated doing, but it helped. It helped so much, she had to. She took a deep breath before taking the blade to her skin...

Zach's P.O.V

I watched her walk home, smiling and helping Mrs. Anderson with her bags. She was as sweet as everyone thought.

Amazingly sweet, nice, so kind. You couldn't help but smile when she was around. But I knew better. No one healthy is that skinny. No one wears jackets and long sleeved shirts in the summer.

No smart, sensible person, witch I know she is, does that. She smiled at me,"Hello Zach." she says hugging me. "Sups Cam?" I ask, my best friend sense we we're six.

"Just coming back from a walk." she says shrugging. "Uh-huh." I say. She sighs. "I was on a walk." she says.

"Yeah, but what did you do on that walk?" I ask. She looks away, guilty. "Nothing." she mumbles. "Sure." I say, taking her arm lightly, pulling up the sleeve. I sigh, she has a fresh cut. "Cam," I say. She starts crying,"I know! I just had to." she says wiping her eyes. I wrap my arms around her. "It's okay." I say.

"What are you doing? That's _my girl." _Dillon says walking up behind us. "You know me and Zach are just friends." Cam says, breaking my heart. "I don't care. You guy's can't hug anymore. No. Touching. At. All." Dillon says pulling Cam away from me.

"Now Come on bitch, we're meeting Josh at Dee Dee's house." Dillon says pulling Cam away by the arm. She looks back at me and mouths,"Sorry, I love you. See ya later!" before turning around and walking away with the devil himself. .

How can she stay with him? I've told her before, they'll but him in prison, she wont even have to worry about him! But no, she says he loves her. She loves him. Not me. It will never be me and her, never.

She made that perfectly clear.

**Kay Kay, tell, was it good? I know it was a little dark, and it will be. But only a little. I'll update faster if you review! Suggestions are welcome!**


	2. That's greatnot

Cammie's P.O.V

Dillon took my arm and dragged me away.

He turns to me,"Why do you have to be such a slut?"

He asks. I look at him,

"I do nothing but love you and and you call me a slut?"

I ask. He looks at me like I've done wrong,

"And you think I don't love you too?"

He asks. "If you love me you wouldn't hurt me." I whisper.

He looks at me the same way.

"I don't hurt you!"

He yells.

"Yes you do!" I scream.

"You want proof? I can give you proof!" I scream.

"Stop making a scene!" he hisses.

I glare at him as he leads me away again.

At Dee Dee's house...

"I have to use the bathroom before we leave."

I say. Dee Dee nods and shows me the way.

I thank her as I shut the door.

I put my bag on my lap and look for my blade.

_I can't find it!_

"Shit." I whisper looking threw my bag.

I put my hand on my head,

I cant believe I've become so dependent on that little blade!

"Cammie! Hurry!" someone yells from down stairs.

I sigh, about to give up, when I feel something poke my finger.

My blade!

I quickly make a _small_ cut on my arm, sighing at the

pleasure it brings.

I quickly pull my sleeve down before running out of the bathroom,

'Sorry, I had to fix my hair." I lie.

"It's cool, lets go!" Dee Dee says.

We all get into Josh's car,

sitting in an awkward silence all the way.

I think we were all happy when we

pulled up to the movies.

I was probably the happiest.

No more listening to Dee Dee talk about

cheer camp.

The boys get the tickets as me

and Dee Dee get snacks.

I, got a water. I can't really have anything else,

not with Dillon.

Maybe I'll have an apple when I get home...

No. He'll find out.

And when he does,

God help me!

I quickly deiced not to have the apple.

The movie sucked, I felt light headed threw it all,

so I couldn't focus.

I think it was good, Dee Dee and Josh liked it.

I smile as they drop me off at my house,

sighing when I open the door.

Zach's there, grinning at me.

"What's up Mr. Happy Pants?"

I ask laughing.

"I got in!" he says. "You got in?" I ask.

"Yale! I got in!" he says. I wrap my arms around him,

I had forgotten he was a grade older than me.

"That's great!" I say forcing a smile.

Knowing that in the fall, two months, he would be gone.

Gone, and I'd be alone with my Dillon problems, alone with my cutting.

It would get worse, like how it was when he found out.

_Flashback_

_I was twelve, I had just started cutting._

_This one was much worse than I had intended. _

_The blade slipped, cutting my wrist instead of my arm._

_There was so much blood, it was so deep._

_I had been staying the night at Zach's. _

_He had been knocking on the bathroom door, _

_asking if I was okay._

_I told him I was fine._

_But he unlocked the door anyway and came in._

_He saw the blade, the blood, my wrist._

"_Cam?" he asks, shocked._

"_Were you trying to kill yourself?" he asks._

_I shake my head rapidly,"No, I was..."_

_I didn't know how to finish._

"_You were cutting?" he asks. I nod softly._

"_You can't do that Cam!" he says._

"_I, can do what I want!" I say in tears._

"_Fine. Just let me help you clean up."_

_He says. I nod and let him help._

_Him, being the strong twelve year old he is, _

_picked me up,_

_and took me back to his room._

"_I don't want to talk about it._

_I'm tiered. Can we just go to bed?"_

_I had asked._

_Zach sighs but says yes._

_Flashback over._

"That's great." she tells him, even tho it's not.

Not for her. No, but he was happy.

"I'm so excited!" Zach says.

She gives him another fake smile.

"What do you want for dinner?" I ask.

"Um...How 'bout, I cook?" he says. I sigh,

"You can try." I say, letting him into the kitchen.

He smirks and starts cooking something.

I watched his movements,

the was his hands moved, the way his eyes still shine.

I can't say I never realized he was good looking.

But like they say, you never really know what you have,

until it's gone.

Zach looks at me, he whips a tear from my eye,

I didn't know I had been crying.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I'm gonna miss you." I sob.

He wraps his arms around me.

"I will miss you too." he says.

"No matter what happens, promise me,

you'll never leave me alone."

I say looking up at him.

"I promise." he says.

If only we knew,

it's how hard it is too

keep that promise.

**Okay, I'm sad. Only three reviews? This time, I want five. I'll update when I get five reviews. Tell me what you think, or at least how I can make it better. Kay Kay, bye bye!**


	3. Back to the 'old' us

**I'm dedicating this chapter too, TheGarbageCanIsNotAMonster, crazier-then-me, Camille, Colorful Eyes, Half-Blood-Wizard23, ano, missperfect23, and missmareexx, for reviewing. Okay. Those are just the names that came with the reviews. Thanks a lot guys!**

One month later...

Cammie's P.O.V

One month. That's all I have.

I've spent every minute, every hour of every day with Zach.

We've reconnected. A lot.

"I never knew she was that girl!"

I say laughing. He laughs too.

"Well, she was. How could you not know?"

He says looking at me like I'm crazy.

My phone goes off.

_Go screw yourself _

_I've had enough yeah,_

_Now we're done_

_Go screw yourself_

_Not gonna lie yeah_

_It was fun,_

_But go screw yourself!_

It's Dillon's ring tone. Zach looks at me,

"And what poor sucker gets that ring tone?"

he asks smirking.

"A douche bag I don't wanna talk too."

I say taking out my phone and hitting 'Ignore.'

Zach had helped me brake it off, with Dillon.

"Dillon?" he asks. I nod.

I've really just spent all my time here, to see Zach,

but it helps that Dillon can't get hold of me.

I peck Zach on the lips,"Don't worry, I've got a man now,

I'm done with boys." I say.

He smirks. I roll my eyes, but smile at the memory

of how we finally got together...

_Flash back to two weeks ago_

_I had been crying, over something Dillon had done,_

_when he told me he had found a nice girl, a girl named Kelly,_

"_Why?" I asked. "What do you mean why?"_

_He asked confused. "Why would you chose her over me?" _

_I had asked. "What? You can date but I can't?_

_And last I checked, your not excactly single." _

_he had said. I glare at him,"So you get to date other girls?"_

_I had asked,"We're not dating!" he had yelled._

"_But we could have!" I had yelled back._

"_What? Was I suppost to wait forever?"_

_he had yelled, as if he had wanted to say it forever._

"_Cause I've waited, and waited, but Cam,_

_I can't wait forever." he said._

_I knew what I had to do. I run up to him,_

_threw my arms around his neck and kissed him._

"_Then don't wait, take me away._

_Take me away from Dillon, take us away from_

_Kelley. Take us away from everything._

_Take me to where it's just you and me,_

_you and me. You and me forever.":_

_I said. He smiled at me,"I'll take us all those places,_

_but first, kiss me again." he smirked, and I kissed him._

"_Happy?" I whispered. He nodded. I grinned._

_Flashback over._

"You know what I want?" I say.

"What?" he asks, playing with my hand.

"I want to go to McDonald's. I haven't had fast

food for over a year. I want some." I say grinning at him.

He smirks,"Off to my car!" he says,

giving me a piggy back ride out to the car.

His mother smiled at us from the kitchen,  
>"Now, don't go hurting my daughter-in-law!"<p>

she yells. I grin, she had started calling me that when

I was thirteen. But when I got with Dillon,

she stopped. But she had started again

when me and Zach got together. "After so long," she had said.

"I get my daughter-in-law back!" she hugged me.

"She's my girlfriend, I'll do what I want with her."

Zach says. I laugh,"No. You'll do whatever she

want's you to do with her." I say. His mom laughs.

"Ah, so Cammie's in charge?"

"No." Zach says. I laugh,  
>"Like hell I'd let you be in charge! We'd end up in<p>

Africa!" I say laughing. Zach and his mom laugh with me too.

"Cammie, can I ask you a question?" Mrs. Goode asks.

"Sure thing mom." I say. "Does your mom mind that you've been like,

living here? And sleeping in the same bed as Zach?"

she asks. I shake my head. "She's cool. Her and Mike (Her new boyfriend) have been spending a lot of time together. As long as I check in. she doesnt mind."

I say,"And with the same bed thing, Zach, wou;d you like to

tell your mom what she said?" I say smiling.

Zach winces,"She said,'You get my daughter

pregnant before you two get married and I'll kill you both myself.

Do I make myself clear?'" he says. I laugh. "My moms so funny."

I say. Mrs. Goode shakes her head at us. "That is something you need to

keep in mind. You should always...be careful..." she says.

Me and Zach look at each other,"We're gonna leave

now..." Zach says taking

my hand and leading me out of the house.


	4. Drop off

**Cammie's P.O.V**

**One month later**

"**You know where your going, right?" Mrs. Goode asks.**

"Yes mom, I know where my dorm is." Zach says.

"Just making sure!" she says. I give her a small smile.

Zach gives us both reassuring smiles,"I'll

be fine." he says. I nod. "Fine, but let me walk

with you to your dorm." I say. He rolls his eyes but nods.

"Cammie honey, I'm going to be over there,

come over when your done so we can drive back."

Mrs. Goode says, I nod as me and Zach walk off.

"**So...Are you excited?" I ask after a few minutes of silence.**

"Not really." he says. "Why?" I ask surprised.

"Because now the only way I get to see you is

when we Video Chat and from pictures." he says.

"I'm going to miss you more." I say looking up at him.

"Hah hah." he says. "Hey, your the one that's going to be

surrounded with collage girls while I'm all alone back in

Roseville!" I say. Looking over at a pair of really slutty

girls who are batting their eyes and waving at Zach.

"Oh Cam, you know you beat 'em all." he says.

"Fine, but if you bring some slutty girl home,

you and her will here from me."

**I say looking up at him. We had stopped**

walking. Zach in a weird way picked me up and kissed me,

"Why would I bring someone home when I have

you waiting for me?" he says when we pull away.

I roll my eyes,"Fine, but you better not be shocked when

I show up at random times." I say. "Cam, your just starting

your Senior year, you can't skip, two three days of school to come

see me." he says softly as we keep on walking. "Fine, you better call me

three times a day, and come home whenever you get the chance!" I say

as we walk up to Zach's dorm door."You know I will." He

says as he opens the door. "Hell no." I say when he opens the door.

**Standing in Zach's room was a girl in her bra and underwear.**

"Oh, I didn't know Grant had a roommate." she says.

The girl is beautiful, cappuccino skin, pretty hair,

and her English accent. "I'm Zach, Grant's roommate."

Zach says. Nodding at the girl,"I'm Bex." she says.

"Who's the pretty girl?" Bex asks. "This is my girlfriend, Cammie."

Zach says. "Oh, does she go to school on campus?"

Bex asks. "No, she's a senior in high school."Zach tells her.

"Well Cammie, me and you have three things in common,

we're both dating collage guys when we're seniors,

we have great taste in guys, and both our boyfriends go to

Yale." she says. I smile,"Yeah, so, where do you go to school?"

I ask. "I just moved to Roseville in Virginia." she says.

"**I live in Roseville! And go to Roseville High!" **

I say. "Ya!" she says. "I know!" I say.

Hey, I don't have many girlfriends. So, back off.

"Cammie, it's getting late and you start school

tomorrow." Zach says three hours later.

"Okay, I love you. I'll call you when I get home."

I say yawning. "Hey, meet you in the front of school tomorrow."

Bex says hugging me. Yes, me and Bex have actually gotten really

close in just three hours. "Kay kay." I say. Before Zach leads me back to his mom.

"I love you." he says his arms wrapped around my wast.

I wrap my arms around his neck,"I love you too. I'm gonna miss you."

I say kissing him. "I'll miss you too." he says. "Oh, just so you know,"

**I say getting into the car,"I'm still gonna like, live in your room." I **

say before shutting the door. He smirks and waves goodbye to us as we

drive away. "Oh I'm gonna miss him." Mrs. Goode says.

I see her start to cry,"I'm going to miss him too."

I say to her as I start crying too.

"Did you know he told me he loved you when he was fourteen?"

she asks looking over at me.

I shake my head,"No, I didn't know that." I say.

She smiles,"He was so cute..."

_**Flashback told by Mrs. Goode**_

_He had come home late,"Where were you?"_

_I asked. "Cams." he says. "Oh, okay." I say. He had this look,_

_like he was floating, flying, I almost asked if he had taken drugs!_

"_Did you have fun?" I asked. He nodded. "Yeah, but mom,_

_I'm confused." he said. "What are you confused about?" I asked._

"_How would I know if I loved her more than just like, my little sister?"_

_he asked. "You love her?" I asked. "I think." he said._

"_Well honey, I think it's for you to find out." I said._

"_Ugh, moooom!" he said hitting his head on the table, I laughed. ._

"_Wait, do you think she loves me too?"  
>he asked lifting his head off the table and looking<em>

_at me. "Maybe." I said smiling at him. He rolled his eyes. _

_**The phone rang, he looked at the caller ID and smiled. "Who is it?"**_

_I asked, I already had a good idea,"Cam," he says _

_taking the phone and running_

_up to his room. I laughed to myself when I heard him say,_

"_You know you love me Gallagher Girl," I heard you laugh saying,_

"_You have to say you love me first." Zach shut his door after that,_

_Flashback over._

**I smile at Mrs. Goode as she's still crying, even more at the memory. **

"I thought I might have loved him that day too." I say,

"But I was only thirteen, so I Ignored

it and said he was just like my brother and it would

be weird to have a crush on your brother." I say.

We laugh,"Mom?" I ask her. "Yes Cammie?" she says after

we stopped crying. "Zach wouldn't tell me what he was Majoring in,

do you know?" I ask, she gets a little pale,

"I think he's undecided." she says quickly.

I nod, not believing her, what is it that they can't

tell me? They tell me everything!

**Mrs. Goode's P.O.V**

**He didn't tell her? Why wouldn't he tell her?**

Tell her that he had decided to fallow in his dads

footsteps, become an agent for the CIA,

a field agent, just like his father. Oh, maybe that's why...

Zach's father has been MIA, Missing In Acton, for ten years.

Cam knew, we only told her what Alex did for a living.

If anyone else found out, and they could work for the circle...

Lets just say it wouldn't be good for us, or anyone else who knew us

Cough Cough * Cammie * Cough *. And Zach

wouldn't let that happen. Never ever would Zach let them even

look at her.

**Oh bo**

_**I want three reviews, and I'll update. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited the story, and me as an author, thanks to everyone who put this story on their story alerts, it means sooooo much! Luv you guys!**_


	5. FREAKING OUT!

Cammie's P.O.V

I will admit, it's hard to be here without Zach. I woke up this morning, hoping to see him lying next to me. But I only say an empty side of a bed, because Zach was at his collage. Away from me, leaving me alone with a lot of things, Dillon mostly. I was afraid to leave the house today, afraid I might see him. But that wouldn't happen, no, we have the restraining order. The best thing, I'm now weight what I should, and I haven't cut for three weeks! Thanks to Zach, after really knowing nothing could happen to me, I didn't feel the need to cut, so I stopped. I got ready, getting ready to leave, happy to see Bex again.

Two weeks later

I'm freaking out. I haven't heard from Zach sense we dropped him off. Dillon, oh Dillon. He's at school. He got the restraining order dropped. He even attacked me. And nothing happened to him! Bex says she hasn't heard from Grant either, we're thinking of skipping school Wednesday to do check on them. "Mom, have you heard from Zach?" I ask Mrs. Goode when I walk into the kitchen when I got home from school, she's crying. "Oh honey." she says wrapping her arms around me. "Whats wrong?" I find myself asking. "Zach...he's gone MIA." she says crying into me. MIA? Memories of my dad flash in my eyes. Mom after we found out, quit the CIA, before what happened to dad could happen to her, but Zach's dad went MIA looking for my dad. And now Zach's gone MIA too. He promised he wouldn't do this to me! He promised he wouldn't leave me alone! He promised! He promised.

"You knew?" I asked her, meaning she knew he went into that. She nodded. "If he didn't tell you, I figured he was waiting for the right time so I shouldn't." she says. I nod,"Has anyone gone with him?" I ask. "His roommate, Grant." she says. My heart brakes ever more, Bex would be broken. I've really come to like her. She was one of my only friends at school, besides Liz. Bex also has a friend named Macey, we've all become great friends. "He can't be gone. Please say he's not really gone. Please!" I sob into Mrs. Goode,"I wish I could! I wish I could Cammie." she says. I run up to Zach's/my room. I grab my phone and dial Zach's number,"Please pick up! Please!" I repeat. Someone answers the phone. "Hello?" they ask. "Who's this?" I ask impatient. "I'm Ally, lovely to meet you, Cammie." the girl says. I hear Zach scream from the background,"Hang up Cammie! Hang up!" he yells. Tears come to my eyes,"Zach? Zach where are you?" I say urgently, I hear the sound of metal hitting bone (I know because Dillon hit me with a bat once) and the sound of Zach yelling.

"Now Cameron, if you want to see Zach, or Grant again, alive, I need you to come to (Insert address). Today at seven P.M." the voice says. "Okay." I say, then I hear the dial tone. I have to go. I have to get him back, I have too. Without him, I'm not Cammie. No, I'm some fucked (A/N, Sorry for the language. .One of the very few times you will ever see that word in one of my stories.) up chick with a bad life. But with Zach, I'm happy, I'm not afraid of weather or not Dillon will take the next step and really kill me, if I'll pass out from starvation, that's why, I grabbed my keys, told Mrs. Goode I loved her, and drove to the address. I waited for awhile. Something hit me on the back of the head. When I woke up, I was tied to a chair. The walls were cement, I was alone in the dark, I think a cave? No, it can't be a cave, because the door opens. I look up at a man who has a look of pure evil. Like he want's to hurt me. I whimper,"Daddy?"

**Ooh! Cammie's dad is COC? Gasp! But he was taken, when he went MIA, or was he? Review!**


	6. Don't

**Hey! I updated! I know it sucks, but bare (Is that the right one?) with me. **

Cammie's P.O.V

I whimper,"Daddy?" I ask. He smirks at me, like Zach. But not the same. "Hello Cameron." he says. I notice he had a long piece of mettle. Dad would never hurt, me, would he? "What are you doing?" I ask. "I'm here to get the information we need." he says. "We?" I ask. "Yes, the COC!" he says. "I thought they took you?" I ask,"No. They just showed me the right way." he says shaking her head. I stare at him,"Wheres Zach?" I ask. "Oh, Zach? He's somewhere..." Dad says. I stare at him as the door opens, it's some guy holding Zach's hands behind his back. Zach has cuts, bruises, obvious broken bones. "Zach!" I scream fighting against the restraints, trying to get to him. "Cammie?" asks, looking up at me. "Your not supposed to be here." he say shaking his head, witch brought much pain. I wince.

"Ah, young love." Dad says kicking Zach's side, Zach coughs. I wince as I see the look of pain on Zach's face. "Now, you will tell me what you know, or I'll hurt Cammie here." dad says to Zach. Zach looks from me to him. "Don't tell him Zach." I say shaking my head. Dad hits me hard with the mettle. I laugh,"Sweetheart, I had an abusive boyfriend for three years, you have to try harder than that." I say smiling evilly at my dad. Dad glares. Then pulls out a knife,"Let's try this." he says cutting my arm a few times,"I've been a cutter for six years." I say pretending to look at my nails. He glares again, cutting me more,"I find pleasure in that." I say in a sing-song voice. He hits me a few more time, a few more cuts, nothing I haven't gone threw before. "You hit like Dillon, weak." I say threw gritted teeth before I black out from blood loss.

I wake up in a car, I see some guy in black, Zach, and Grant? I think so... "Cammie!" Zach says looking at me. "Where are we?" I ask. "We're driving to the CIA base." he says softly, pulling me into his lap. "Where's my dad?" I ask into his chest. "Cammie...there was no other way...we had too." he says. "You killed him?" I whisper. "I didn't, but they did. It was for a good reason, he's a bad person, now." he says. I cry into Zach's chest all the way to the CIA base. When we get there, Mrs. Goode, my real mom, and Bex are waiting there for us. "Cammie! Zach!" Mrs. Goode says wrapping her arms around both of us. I hug her back, before running to my mom. "I thought you were in Alaska (Where she moved when I moved in with Zach and Mrs. Goode). "Cammie, no matter what I'm your mom, I would have come if the world was ending." she says hugging me.

After getting checked out and talking to some CIA people they let me talk to Zach. I hug him,"I'm so happy your okay." I say. But I realize he didn't hug me back, he pushes me away. "I can't do this." he says shaking his head. "Can't do what?" I ask. "I can't put you in danger like this! I can't. I wont be the reason I lose you. I think...I think we should take a break." he says. I look at him,"Please don't do this." I whisper. He looks away. "I talked to your mom. Your moving to Alaska with her. Mom went home to pack your stuff and bring it here." he says. "Zach, don't do this!" I say pleading with him. I'm crying now. Mrs. Goode walks up behind him, he walks away. "Zach! Don't do this to me!" I scream. He keeps walking.

* * *

><p>Zach's P.O.V<p>

I walk away. My mom comes after me. "You know you just let go of the best thing you ever had? The only girl you've ever loved?" she says. "I can find anther." I say as I keep walking. "But you don't they wont be like Cammie. You think she'll ever trust someone again?" she asks. I stop. "I couldn't do this to her mom! What if I didn't come back? I was the reason this happened to her! It was my fault! I don't want to be the reason she dies at eighteen!" I yell. She looks at me like she wants to say more,"It's your choice. But her flight leaves in an hour, say your goodbyes." she says before walking away. I did the right thing. Right?

"Bye Cam." mom says hugging her for the sixth time. "Bye mom." Cam says wiping her eyes.

She turns to me, and to my surprise she hugs me,"This is last chance. Change your mind. Tell her I can stay. Tell me you don't want me to stay." she says in my ear. "It's better if you go. I can't keep you safe. What happened today, could happen again, and it could be a hundred times worse." I say softly. "I love you." she says. "I love you too." I say letting go of her. I watch her walk onto the plane. I see her look back at me, with tears in her eyes. She draws a 'Z' in the air, I do a 'C'. It's our thing from when we were kids, it means that your saying something important, but you can't really say it. The 'C' I use, the 'Z' she uses meaning she's talking to me or I'm talking to her. Even I cry a little as I know she's gone. I leave the air port that night, in tears.

* * *

><p><strong>I'd like to get at lest seven reviews. I'm working as fast as I can, sorry guys.<strong>


	7. IMPORTANT!

I fell so bad. And I'm really sorry and I'm freaking out, but I'm trying to keep my grades up, and reach my AR goal, and schools just kinda hard right now. I feel sssooo bad that I haven't updated in forever. I understand if you've stopped reading, but those of you who haven't, I really appreciate you putting up with everything. It means sooooo much. Once again, I'm SUPER SUPER DUPER sorry! Don't kill me. Now, it's only fair if I get a five minute head start if your gonna chase me down with pitch forks. Sorry again!

With lots of apologizes you don't wanna hear,

ZaChGoOdEsGaLlAgHeRgIrL


	8. SURPRISE!

**Surprise update! I worked last night on a couple of my stories cuz I still feel REALLY REALLY bad. So, here it is!**

3rd Person P.O.V

Cammie Morgan had been in Alaska for four months. She had changed. She started cutting again. She now hangs out with Macey McHenry, yes, the Senators daughter. They even both dyed red streaks into their hair. Macey's not a cutter, and she doesn't know Cammie is one. That's the only secret in their friend ship, or is it?

Cammie's P.O.V

I walk into my house, still doesn't feel like it, and go to the kitchen. "Cammie, I have something to tell you." mom says when I walk in. "Huh?" I ask flicking by hair off my shoulder. "We're going to Roseville for Thanksgiving!" she says smiling at me. I stare at her,"Roseville is where _he_ is. Roseville was where my life became a living hell. Why would I want to go back?" I ask angry that she would do this. "We're going and that's final. We leave in an hour." she says. I glare at her as I run up the stairs to my room. I make sure to slam my door, _extra_ loud. I grab my suitcase and start packing, it's not like _I want to go back_. Right?

Mrs. Morgans P.O.V

I hear her slam her door and wince. I know it's gonna be painful for her to go back, but it's good for her. And she's gonna realize that later. I know she will. I'm just doing whats best for her.

Cammie's P.O.V

We all know that one person that's music is to loud on the plane ride, right? Well, that was me on our way to Virginia. I can't believe she's making me go back! Ugh! What mother does this to her child? Mine. I look over to see her looking at me with worry, I glare, making her turn away. This sucks. I had to leave my blade at home, can't really take that on a plane, so I have nothing to help with the anxiety. A few _long hours_ later, we were driving up to Zach's house! Yes, she forgot to tell me we were going there for Thanksgiving! God, why do you hate me? Love Cammie. I get out of the car, not bothering to take out my headphones. I turn to the side, to look down the street at Dillon's house. The wind blows my hair into my eyes. With my fist baled I probably look like a goth super hero. My skin tight black long sleeved shirt with my black paint splattered skinny jeans and black converse, good old Gothic look.

I take out my headphones and turn off my I pod when we start up the steeps to the house, we don't even make it half way up when the doors flung open and Mrs. Goode's hugging me like she's never gonna let go. "MOM!" I yell hugging her back, my real mom never minded me calling Mrs. Goode that because Zach always called her mom. "CAMMMIE! YOUR BACK! I MISSED YOU SOOOOO MUCH!" she says when she finally pulls back. I smile at her,"I missed you too." I say. "Oh, come in!" she says taking me and my real mom inside. When we get in, Bex and Grant are their, Jonas and Liz, some of Zach's family (Cosens, Aunts, Uncles, all of that) And Zach, with his arms around a pretty little blonde. She giggles at something he says, quickly kissing him before pulling away from him to walk over to Mrs. Goode. "Hey!" she says to her. "Hello Chelsea!" Mrs. Goode says smiling at her. It's the smile she gives me. The one she used to_ only_ give me.

I fallow Mrs. Goode into the kitchen,"I'll help you with the stuffing." I say. I always help her with the stuffing, every year for as long as I can remember. "Oh Cammie, me and Chelsea made it this morning." Mrs. Goode says. I nod, trying not to show how much that hurt me. That's our thing. I walk into the living room,"Cam!" Bex says smiling at me. "Hey." I say. "Ooh, I love the hair!" she says lifting up a piece of my red hair. "Thanks." I say, my voice breaking as I watch Zach and Chelsea. "Are you okay?" Grant asks. "I'm fine. I just need some air." I say. Zach looks at me, pretends like I'm not there, and smile at Grant. That did it. Tears come to my eyes as I push my way past people, trying to get to the door before I completely broke down. When I get out side, I take a deep breath as I lean on the banister. I reach into my bag, pulling out a blade that I got when I asked my mom if we could stop at the store so I could run in and get something.

I look around, not seeing anyone, I pull up my sleeve and make a deep cut on my arm. I gasp at the pain it brings. "I thought you stopped." a quite voice asks from behind me. I jump, turning around fast, preparing to tell who ever it was they didn't see what they thought they saw, but I saw Zach. I notice his hairs a little longer, he got a little taller, that's all the difference. Well besides that fact that he looks at Chelsea with the loving eyes he looked at me with just four months ago. "I did. But something happened in my life, making it necessary again." I say. "Your going to hurt yourself really bad. Let me help you." he says reaching out to take my arm. "I can take care of myself." I snap pulling my arm to my side. "I can. And I have for the last few months." I say with a glare. "Apparently you can't if you think taking care of yourself involves a blade to your arm a couple times a day!" he says. "You made me do it! I stopped! I was happy! When was the last time I was happy before that? Huh?" I say.

"Don't blame me for your problems." he says looking at me like he's disgusted with me. "Don't blame me for your bad mental state." he adds. "Every person I've ever trusted, ever loved, has left me alone in the dark! You and your mom replaced me with Barbie, my mom doesn't even know what to do with me so she doesn't try, my boyfriend of two years was abusive all the time, and my father left me to be some evil creep! I'm not blaming you for my problems. I'm just telling you your part of it." I say just realizing my voice had rose to a yell. He just stares at me. "I..." he doesn't finish. "And you promised! God! You promised me you'd never leave me alone! You _promised!" _I scream. Everyone from inside was ether looking at us threw the window, or standing on the porch behind us. "I didn't leave you alone." he says. "Excuse me? You sent me off to a different state! You didn't even call me! You knew I loved you! You never loved me! Why would you just play with me like that?" I say.

"I didn't have a choice!" he yells back. "I didn't want you to get hurt! That meant I couldn't have any ties to you, not if I wanted you to live! And how dare you say I never loved you? I've loved you threw everything! I loved you when you were with Dillon! I waited for years just loving you! Don't you say I never loved you." he says. I was aware of everyone watching me, waiting for me to say something. When I didn't, Zach went on. "And God, I didn't replace you! I don't even care about Chelsea! I just needed a distraction for you." he says. "No offense." he adds to Chelsea. "Whatever. I'm outta here." she says walking off to her care and driving away. "Why would you need a distraction?" I ask. "Because I couldn't stop thinking of you. I couldn't stop thinking of how good it felt to know I had you, I couldn't help but look to the other side of my bed, wanting to see you but not. I couldn't stop seeing your face when I told you you should leave when inside I was screaming at you to get off that plane." he says softly taking my hand.

I stare at him, not sure what to say. Everyone's looking at us,"Say something, please." Zach says pleading with me. "I..." I started. "Yo, I didn't know you were back." Dillon always knew how to killa moment.

S**o, I made it sorta long, in hopes that it makes up for my lack of updating, well, anything. I really am sorry. But, I hope it makes up for it. :) Luvs ya.**


	9. Uh

**Sorry for my lack of updates, I've started writing for Maximum Ride too, so, yeah. Don't hate me!**

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><p>Cammie's PO.V<p>

"Dillon." I say turning to look at him. "Hey baby." he says. Zach glares at him,"She's not your baby." Zach says. "Last I heard she's not yours either? Didn't you send her off to Alaska?" Dillon says. Zach glares at him. "Come on Cammie. Let's go hang out." Dillon says. "I just got her back," Zach says walking up to him,"I will not let _you_ take her away from me!" he says pushing Dillon. Oh shit. "She was mine first!" Dillon yells pushing Zach back. "She's always hated you!" Zach yells. "And I had her first! I've know her sense she was a kid! She's _mine_!" Zach yells. "Shut up Goode!" Dillon yells punching Zach. "Zach!" I scream as Zach goes down. Zach gets up fast,"Your gonna regret that." Zach says pulling his arm back and slugging Dillon.

"Guys!" I scream running up in tears,"Stop," I say putting myself between them. "Just _stop." _I say wiping my eyes on my shirt sleeve. Dillon wipes his bloody noes,"What ever Cam. Have fun with pretty boy. But remember, I never shipped you off to Alaska." Dillon says walking away. "And I've never hit her! I've never made her think she might not be coming back from "hanging out"!" Zach yells. It seems as if time slowed, everyone turns to look at us,"You _hit _her?" Grant asks walking up. Grant had become like a big brother, so him hearing this had to make him wanna kill someone. "I would try to stop, and it wouldn't work anyway, but I think you deserve it." Bex says smacking Dillon.

Grant then punches Dillon, multiple times. "What the hell man?" Dillon asks. "You hit my little sister! What's your problem?" Grant yells. "Cam?" mom asks. "I.." I say. But apparently Zach wasnt done. "And at least I got her to stop cutting, or stop for awhile." he says looking at me. "Cameron! What is he talking about?" mom asks. "I don;t know what he's talking about!" I say turning to glare at Zach. "Really Gallagher Girl?" How 'bout you show them, huh? Show them!" Zach says. I shakes my head no. Zach walks over, grabbing my arm and pulling my sleeve up. "Mrs. Morgan, your daughters been a cutter sense she was twelve." Zach says.

"Anything else you'd like to tell me?" Mom says.

I don't know why I said it. I really don't. But I did, and I can't take it back. "Yeah. I was pregnant two months ago."

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><p><strong>Ooh! Hope you guys liked it! I'll update as soon as I can, how'd you like the surprise at the end? Please review?<strong>


	10. Pssh

**I see you all liked the shock? Ya! Next day update!**

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><p>Cammie's P.O.V<p>

"Yeah. And I was pregnant two months ago." I say. "Was? As in your not?" mom says. "I am . . ." I say looking away. "So that happened in Alaska?" Dillon asks watching me carefully. "No. It means it happened before Alaska . . ." I say softly, making sure not to look at Zach. "Huh? " Mrs. Goode asks looking between me and Zach. Zach suddenly looks at me,"You knew you were pregnant and you didn't tell me?" he yells. "I was going to tell you! You shipped me off to Alaska!" I yell back. "You could have at least called and told me!" he says. "I tried calling! I called you everyday for the first six weeks! Your mom answered! But you would never talk to me!" I yell. "Every time. You weren't home. You couldn't talk. You. Avoided. Me." I say as tears come. Everyone's looking at us. Big, wide, eyes.

"Come here." Zach says pulling me into him. I lay my head on his chest as I cry. "Everyone! Let's go inside!" mom says as her and Mrs. Goode take everyone back inside. "Oh Cammie." Zach says into my hair. "What am I going to do?" I ask between sobs. "No. What are we going to do." he says pulling away from me. "You are not doing this alone. And, it's my baby too." he says giving me a small smile. I smile back and throw my arms around him. "I'm sorry." I say. "About?" he asks. "Dragging you into this. I mean, my mom might kill you." I say. He pales a little,"She said something about that when you moved in, didn't she?" he says putting his arm around me as we walk back in. "Yeah." I say with a small laugh, pushing a few straw hairs behind my ear. "And I'm a dead man." he says as he opens the door for me.

So, we actually had a nice thanksgiving. No one forgot about what happened. But we did put it aside for awhile and just talked and joked around. Altho, after everyone left me and Zach got yelled at for three hours. Then we were told we had to figure everything out, like how to pay for the baby and everything, and how the hell we were gonna do it. But eventually they let us go to bed. "Come on Cam," Zach says taking my hand and pulling me out of my seat. "I'm so tired." I say. "I know, that's why we're going to bed." he says. "Okay." I say yawning. We walk upstairs, hearing my mom and Mrs. Goode talking,"They messed up. But didn't we too?" Mrs. Good says. "Yeah! But she wasn't supposed to fall for a CIA guy. How is she supposed to take care of a kid by herself?" my mom says. "She's not going to because Zach will come home, every time. And Cam will always have us." Mrs. Goode says. I'm not sure how I feel about that conversation.

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><p><strong>Yes! I updated the next day! That makes me amazing! You all thought it was someone else's or she got an abortaion! I would never write it like that. I know it's short, but I love you guys cuz you reviewed like crazy! So, please review again? <strong>


	11. BABY NEWS

**I'M CHANGING MY NAME TO TheShadowKissedNinja (I was gonna do TheShadowKissedAngel, but my friend brought up TheShadowKissedNinja and I just liked it better, anyway, thats what it's gonna be!)**

J'ai décidé de mettre à jour! Après, comme toujours! (I have decided to update! After like, forever! In French, I think) Profitez de mes lecteurs belle! : D ( Enjoy my lovely readers! :D in French, again! I think . . . I hope . . . I used Google Translater) So, here it is!

Cammie's P.O.V, some months later.

I hate being pregnant. My mom came and we're staying at the Goode's, so we got me a privet tutor, so I wouldn't be uncomfortable back at any real school. "Zach!" I yell from the couch downstairs. "Yes, my crazed pregnant girlfriend who I fear for my life when I'm around now?" he says, mumbling the last part. I flip him off,"That's not my fault only." I say angry at him now. "I'm sorry, I love you." he says now scared. "If you get me spray cheese, pickles, crackers, and chocolate it might influence my decision." I say, listing off my crazy cravings. He looks at me like I've lost my mind,"You want to eat all of those? Together?" he asks.

I nod,"God it sounds so good, ooh, some honey too!" I say. He gives me one last crazy look, before walking into the kitchen to get what I wanted. I grinned to myself, not being able to wait for the great food I was about to get to eat! "Is that for Ms. Cameron?" asked Mrs. Goode from the kitchen with Zach. "Yeah, she always wants spray cheese! We're almost out, and we bought more cans five days ago!" Zach says, sighing as I hear him spray the cheese on a plate with the other crazy foods. "Bring me the can, too!" I yell. I hear Mrs. Goode laugh,"You did this to yourself." she says, before walking over to me,"Wanna watch Titanic again?" she asks me, sitting down by me.

"Yes!" I say, just as Zach groans and says,"God no!" I grin. "Fine, you can go paint the nursery." I tell him taking my plate from him. "But Cam!" he whines, I grin with Mrs. Goode. Me and Zach got an apartment, not wanting to wake Mrs. Goode up when the baby woke up. It's about five minutes from here, and there's three rooms. One for me and Zach, one for the baby, and one for a guest room. We have a kitchen, a bathroom in mine and Zach's room, and just a bathroom, and a small living room. We still have to paint the nursery. "But! I can't! We still don't know if it's a boy or a girl!" he says grinning.

"Actually, we found out this morning." Mrs. Goode says. "WHAT?" me and Zach yell. "They called to tell," she says with a shrug. "So? What is it?" I yell. "You're having a baby BOY!" she yells. I hug Zach grinning. "YES! I GET A BOY!" Zach yells, hugging me back. I've known the whole time Zach has wanted a boy, but he would love a girl too. Mrs. Goode laughs at Zach,"Someone's excited." she says. I laugh, even tho I'm crying. "Why are you crying?" Zach asks, all emotions but worry leaving his face. "You're excited," I say whipping my eyes. "Should I not be?" he asks. "No, I mean, yes, you should be, it's just that it's sweet that you're excited." I say.

Zach gives me a smile, a few tears of his own falling from his eyes,"Of course I'm excited." he says. "I get the girl I love, and now we get a little baby boy." he adds. I throw my arms around him,"I love you so much!" I say. I hear the sound of a camera going off, and turn to see Mrs. Goode holding her camera up,"I had to." she says sheepishly,"It was so cute." she says, taking another one. "So, sense you love me so much," Zach says, getting off the couch and and kneeling in front of me,"Does that mean you'll marry me?" he asks, pulling out a small red box. I put my hand over my mouth,"Cameron Ann Morgan, will you marry me?" he asks opening the box, showing a beautiful diamond ring.

"YES!" I scream, throwing my arms around him again. He laughs, hugging me back. "Oh! This is great!" Mrs. Goode says. I let go of Zach and run over to her, throwing my arms around her,"AHH! Now you're gonna be my mom, BY LAW!" I say crying. "And you'll be my daughter, BY LAW!" she says, crying too as she hugs me. "I have to go call Bex!" I say running out of the room.

Zach's P.O.V

SHE SAID YES! As Cammie runs out of the room, my mom hugs me. "I always knew this day would come," she says,"I just thought you guys would have been married before you had kids." she says. I nod,"Me too." I say. Cammie walks in and grins,"Now, I think you should go paint the nursery." she says. "I liked the red for a boys room . . ." she trails. I frown,"If you really love Jace you'd paint his room." she says. Mom laughs,"You already know his name?" she asks. Cam nods excitedly,"I chose two names, for a girl, Sage or Avery, for a boy, Jace." she says with a grin. I laugh,"You said that when we were kids! You wanted three kids, the boy to be olders, Jace, the second oldest to be a girl, Avery, the youngest, a girl, Sage." I say.

She grins,"What? I want three kids, one boy two girls, and I like those names." she says. I nod,"I know. You always told me." I say. She grins,"But really, go paint the nursery." she says. I sigh,"Don't you love me?" I ask. "Yeah, don't you love me? And Jace?" she counters. "Yes . . ."I say. "Then you'd do this for him! And me, I'm PREGNANT! I can't paint, or build the crib, or anything like that, but you can. And I bet Grant would love to help." she says with a grin. I nod,"I'll call Grant on the way." I say. She grins and pecks me on the lips,"Remember to do it right," she says. "I will. Love you, see you later." I say walking to the door. "Love you too!" she calls. Before I walk out the door, I hear my mom say,"We're still gonna watch Titanic, right?"

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><p><strong>Did you like it? I hope you did! Sorry if the beging is wrong, my sis did it for me! I've been thinking, I'm gonna do more chapters, but do you think we could get the story up to 100 reviews? It's just my new personal; goal, but I'm still gonna update a lot, I don't excpect to get 100 this chapter. Review, tell me if you like the names (Yes, I think their will be more kids later). But the whole, three kids thing and the names, that's what I want when I'm older :), anyway, enough about my personal life, review!<strong>


	12. Ahahaha!

**:D I love my readers . . .**

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><p>Around five months later . . .<p>

Cammie's P.O.V

Me and Zach are staying at his moms, since he's been working for a real job lately and I can't be left alone. It's about one in the morning and Zach's asleep next to me. But I can't sleep. I don't know why, but I can't. Oh my God! My water just broke! "ZACH!" I yell. He bolts up,"What?" he asks. "MY WATER JUST BROKE!" I yell. "OH MY GOD!" he yells jumping out of bed and running to help me up. He grabs the bag and helps me out of the room,"What going on?" Mrs. Goode asks from the end of the hall. "It's time." I say. "AHHH!" she yells, running to help Zach with me. I'm really not gonna go into any details. At all. Because I'm sure as hell you don't wanna know.

But anyway, right now I'm sitting in my hospital bed, holding my little baby Jace in my arms and rocking him softly. Zach's sitting beside me, big smile on his face. "Do you want to hold him?" I ask Zach, looking up at him. He looks down at me, his expression unreadable. "Can I?" he asks softly. "Of course." I tell him,"Come here," I say, lifting my arms to give him Jace. Once Zach has Jace safe in his arms, slowly rocking him, I lay back down. Zach's grinning down at Jace, speaking softly to him with tears running down his face. "Hey baby boy." he says. Jace opens his little eyes, blinking up at Zach, and smiles. Zach starts crying even more, looking over at me. I'm crying as well, tho not as much. "He's adorable, isn't he?" I ask. "He's amazing. I . ." Zach says. I smile at him threw the tears,"I know what you mean." I tell him.

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><p>Three Weeks Later.<p>

"Your turn." I mumble to Zach. The cries continue from Jace's room. "No, I got up last time." Zach mumbles. "Eff you." I say getting up. "Love you too." Zach says, rolling over. I get up and walk into Jace's room. "Jace," I say softly, standing in front of his crib. My little boy looks up at me with blue eyes, having my eyes, but Zach's dark hair. He reaches his arms up to me, I pick him up,"Mommy loves you, yes she does." I say as I bounce up and down and soon enough Jace is back asleep in my arms. I sit down in the rocking chair in the corner of his room, looking down at Jace while I rock. I can't believe I'm a mom. And engaged. Me and Zach deiced on a fall wedding, seventeenth of October.

But it will be small, close family, really close friends. Like Bex, Macey, Grant, Zach's friend Jonas from the CIA. My mom, Zach's mom, Lacey (my Aunt), Joe Solomon (Family friend), and some others. That's about it, oh, and of course, Jace. I look down at Jace, one last time before putting him back in his crib, and realize, he has my fathers nose. I take a deep breath, fighting back tears, before turning and walking back to mine and Zach's room, where I fall back into a deep sleep.

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><p>The wedding.<p>

I was waring the dress, sleeveless, corset top and flowing waist line. My dirty blonde hair curled, my blue eyes rimmed with black eye liner, my white two inch heals killing my feet. The music starts, and I walk out with Grant. Yes, he's walking me down the isle. Macey and Bex were my bridesmaids. They smiled at me as I walked down, I looked at Zach. He looked . . . amazing. Absolutely amazing. He smiled at me, and I started to cry softly. We reached Zach, and Grant took his next place, as Zach's best man. The ceremony felt like it was going by so fast, when finally, me and Zach got to say 'I do'. Our kiss was soft and sweet, like we've done so may times, but this one was special. It was our key to forever. And forever with Zach, is exactly what I want.

I know I'm young, only eighteen. But, I'm a mommy, and now I'm a wife too. And I'm damn good at both of them, by the way. Jace is around four months now, such an amazing and beautiful baby. As long as I have my two boys, Zach and Jace, I know I can make it threw anything.

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><p><strong>SECOND STORY I HAVE FINISHED! Yes, it's over. I know it was rushed, but it was how I wanted it to end. I bet it could have been better, anyway, but that was it. There might be a squeal, maybe if this gets it's 100 reviews? Thank you too all of my readers who have been here from the beginning. It means so much. It really does. This story, is dedicated to you all. Please, tell me what you thought? <strong>


	13. REALLY IMPORTANT!

**Hey guys :) I know I've like, disappeared, and I'm sorry about that, but I have a question. There will be the sequel to My Life. Yup, I've deiced to do one! Anyways, my question, if I did the sequel like Jace goes to Blackthorne, and Cammie and Zach's daughters go to Gallagher, would you like it? Please tell me so I can start working on this, I want to have the first chapter up by today if I can :) kk, please tell me if you'd like that lol bye!**


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